“My Milkshake Brings all the bees to my car I spilled it, all over my car Bees are, inside of my car, They could kill me I’m allergic to bees”
— Gansey
Don’t watch Westworld kids it’ll fuck you up
But I know y'all some self sabotaging shits like me so please watch it God
Dear young females,
if a man ever interrupts you say “excuse me I wasn’t finished.” and finish ur statement. The looks u get and his mortified reaction will make u unstoppable.
demand respect.
Bringing back this prime advice
I’ve used this a few times in the newsroom. The mortified looks are one thing, but the ABSOLUTE CARE my colleagues took for the next few days was even better.
a skinny white guy: *takes a picture of him having a nose bleed or smoking with dirty fingernails*
some of you: god fuck me
Me: you ok?🤖
You, a normal healthy person: oh behold that creek yonder, nature in its splendor!
Me, who watches too much tv: I wonder how many bodies have been dumped there ×_×
My body: yo necesito agua por favor.
Me: iced coffee.
My body: adult humans are composed of 60% H2O. Drink it.
Me: I C E D cOffEE
My body: pls help am dying snd water
Cashier@McDonald’s: one LARGE FRENCH VANILLA ICED COFFEE WITH AN EXTRA SHOT OF VANILLA that’ll be $2.59 pull forward to the first window
